Goodbye
by Sephiroth M. Elmdor
Summary: After 3I One little event can change the life of two people. Sorry, I revised this story, so all the reviews were lost. Still thanx for the reviews
1. The Sweet Goodbye

One-Winged Angel

Presents

Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of its characters.

This story was inspired by another fanfic I read.

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            It's been three years after Third Impact.  People have started coming back from the LCL now. Tokyo-3 is being rebuilt again.  

All my friends have come back to Tokyo-3. Touji has prosthetics legs now, at first I couldn't bare to see that I hurt him this much, I mean he lost an arm and a leg because of me. But I eventually worked up the courage to face him. When I saw him again he did eventually forgive me, but that didn't prevent me from saying the usual "I'm sorry" to him. 

Kensuke changed for the better; he doesn't all that much like the military anymore. Not after that incident with the JSSDF. He now prefers to work on computers and, on the side, being a hacker.

Hikari has also come back, and since we started school, is the class rep again. 

About school, the Marduk Institute no longer runs it, so we have at least a semblance of normality in our school. 

Misato she's back to being a caring guardian that she is, to us. She treats Asuka and me as if we were her own children.

And finally Asuka, we were married a year after third impact. Though not for good reasons, she just wanted someone around, to be with her.  Someone to cover up her loneliness and since I was to her, the closest male person she ever had, I had to be the unfortunate groom.

I knew that Asuka didn't love me, but that didn't prevent me from loving her. I probably realized it a long time ago. From the day I saw her in the carrier I was entranced by her beauty and fell in love with her immediately. 

But still she didn't love me, since she kept insulting me, berating me, but I withstood it all, because I thought that maybe, just maybe, someday she'd learn to love me.  But after two years, I realized that she wouldn't.  She'd be just the same old Asuka that had done those things to me.

I work at a restaurant down the street from our apartment, I have a fairly good-paying job, nothing much, but enough to get us through. Asuka also has a job, she's a psychologist at a clinic she rented. I pay for the rent to that clinic though.

And so that is the complete summary of the culmination of the recent three years I've spent after 3rd impact. This is my story.

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Click.

I unlock the door to my apartment. I mean OUR apartment, even if I mostly paid for all of this. That baka- he must think he paid for this. OK, maybe he did help a little, just a little. But, I still do most of the work. I make a lot of money as a computer analyst.

I smell something good as I enter the living room. Hmm…. probably Shinji cooking. It smells so good…. Not that I like it.  You know even though I've been married to baka for 3 years, I've never thanked him for his good cooking. Heck, I don't thank him for anything. I stood at the hallway to recollect on my thoughts.

Even though I always insult him, I don't really mean it. It's just hard for me to open up to people.  Even if I've been living with this guy for three years, I still don't completely show my emotions for him. 

I don't know maybe I like him or maybe even love him. I don't know, I always say to myself that I don't like him, but deep in my heart I know I do. No matter how hard I deny it I can't completely say that I have feelings for him. 

I entered the kitchen and sat down on a chair near the left side of the table, and then Shinji proceeded to sit down beside me.

"Hey what's for dinner?" I said.

Shinji looked at me as he was giving me my food "Rice and fish" He replied.

I glared at him "What? Again! Baka! I told you not to cook that again."

"But, we don't have anymore money for food!"

"Stupid! If you just worked harder, then we wouldn't have to eat the same food over and over again."

"Gomen, but I don't get enough salary to afford to buy more expensive things even with your job at the big company… What was its name again?"

"Hajima Technologies.  Hey why didn't you choose a higher-paying job instead? It would help us more financially, stupid!"

"Gomen, but cooking is what I do best, and the only thing I know how to do."

Then, I decided drop the conversation; this would all lead to me insulting him again. I looked at him while he was eating, I sighed inwardly at him, after 3 years he has changed significantly, and yet not that much.

He looks more mature, stronger. He exercises often now, not like the previous years. He has grown more muscular and he seems to radiate an aura about him. Yet,

he's still the same old caring Shinji that I knew from long ago, the one that apologizes profusely if he did something wrong, the one that looks at you with that caring look if you're hurt. He's changed a lot yet not a whole lot, a bit ironic, eh?

"Asuka?"

I snapped up from my introspection and looked at him. "What?"

"I'm finished, I'll take your plate and you can go watch TV."

"Sure, don't be long, stupid."

I sat down on the couch and proceeded to watch TV, but not really seeing anything good on, I decided to think about the last three years.

I was always mean to Shinji, no matter what he did. Whether he did something good or bad. Though, I don't know why. Probably because I didn't want him to have feelings for me, so that it would be easier for both of us.

Or maybe I just wanted an excuse for not liking him. I don't know if that's the case, but I dismissed the thought and went to the bedroom. We have separate beds I don't know why, but I never let Shinji, not even once sleep in the same bed as me. Maybe there's the fear of getting close again. I lied down and my bed and proceeded to drift to sleep.

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I sat down on the couch and thought about recent days. It's like Asuka has raised her insulting level up a notch it's like she's insulting me more now than ever before.

I already thought about it and I've decided to leave tonight. I know Asuka's going to be better off without me. She has a high-paying job and an apartment that she mostly paid for.

I'm just a burden to her. She never once said she loved me even though we were married for 3 years. I'm going to pack my bags and leave this place for good, because as long as I make Asuka happy, I'm happy. 

It tears my heart apart every time she insults me; it breaks my heart whenever she's hurt. I feel she's become part of my life, that now I must let go to bring her joy.

Nothing pleases me more than to see her happy. When she gets mad she can be like a devil, but when she smiles she can be like an angel.

I packed my bags slowly so that I would not alert Asuka to my leaving, I slowly wrote a note concerning me, and slowly crept down the hallway and through the door to face the dark cold night. Alone.

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This is my first attempt at a story, I hope you like it feedback is much appreciated.

Domo Arigato.


	2. Memories

Goodbye

By 

One-Winged Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion

Thank Yous:

Nigoki-Thanks for the praise

Kman- I think 31/2 out of 5 is a good start

D14852001-Thanks for the advice on the sound effects

Animefan2017-Your advice I really took into account, It helped my brain churn out new ideas.

Keyblade-00-Your review helps me to write even better chapters for this story.

  


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The light was shining through the window of a bedroom. The occupant not noticing the other bed is vacant. The sleeping figure was shifting slowly among the sheets, trying to adjust her eyes to the blinding light of the morning's sunshine.

"Shinji?" The figure lightly asked.

There was no response; only the silence of the air could be heard.

"Shinji?" The figure asked with more concern in her voice and slowly began to rise. Asuka rose from her bed and lightly rubbed her eyes taking into account her surroundings.

She noticed Shinji's bed was messy and untidy. 'Shinji's never messy' the redhead thought. "Shinji?" Asuka shouted, but still only silence could be heard. She climbed up from her bed and proceeded into the hallway that connected their bedroom to the living room. 

"Shinji?" Asuka asked with more worry in her tone. The kitchen was empty and the living room was bare. It's like she was the only one there. Asuka started to become worried where Shinji was. 

She returned to their room and saw that the drawers Shinji owned were empty. 'Where'd all….' She then saw a letter on top of the drawer. 

She fingered the top of the letter and slowly started to open it.

I silently read the white piece of paper that may lead me to where Shinji may be:

_Dear Asuka, _

_If you're reading this, then that means that I've left you. Don't come looking for me, and I doubt you will. I just didn't want to be a burden to you any longer. It tears my heart to see you in pain._

_I knew that from the first day you married me that, you didn't love me. I just thought that maybe with time you would learn to. I guess I was wrong. You just never saw me that way, I guess. So I'm leaving this house, this place, and Tokyo-3. I wrote this letter as a sort of goodbye and as my confession._

_What confession you might ask, well… I loved you from the first day I saw you. You were the light that guided me when I was in the darkness; you were the flower in my desert of despair. I have and always loved you, the strength and conviction of my love for you will never waver through the years, and though I won't be there know that I will always love you now and forever._

_Now that I've poured my heart out, I just want to say goodbye, and I hope that we'll meet each other again. _

_You know some say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and whoever said that was one really smart person. I just looked in your eyes and I knew the answer. I wish you would love me back, but I guess it's not meant to be. I hope your not laughing your head of right now, but what I'm saying is true._

_Goodbye, Asuka, goodbye forever._

_Always and forever yours,_

_Shinji Ikari_

Midway through the letter, tears were falling down Asuka's cheeks when she got halfway through the letter. It was full of emotion and passion that even if Shinji wasn't there, she could feel the words as if it were her own.

She placed her hand over here eyes, and felt the hot tears running down her cheeks. "I'm crying… for that idiot…" But it was very hard for her to say those last few words, she felt like her heart was being torn apart and stepped upon. 

Ever since she married Shinji, she didn't show any amount of love to him. She kept it all inside thinking Shinji was only feeling sorry for her. In, reality she was afraid of showing her love for the brown-eyed boy. She felt that maybe he would leave her just like everyone else. 

But, Asuka knew that deep within her heart, she loved Shinji. It reflected on the way she less frequently insulted him, and toned down the intensity of her insults. How, when he was not looking, looked at him with the love that she hid within herself. How she would smile when he did even the smallest act of kindness for her.

Then, she remembered all those smiles, all the compliments, and all the _love_ that Shinji showed her, but never reciprocated. She was now regretting the fact that she took it all for granted. She wanted to return all those gestures of kindness he showed her.

She then realized, in all her married life, she never once kissed Shinji, never once hugged him, or have any physical touch except for the occasional holding hands. 

At all these thoughts Asuka's heart felt like it was being shattered by the numerous revelations that were erupting from her mind. No her heart was already shattered. She was regretting every bad thing that she has ever done to Shinji. 

All the insults that she ever hurled against him. All the punches that she would throw at him, it all served as a bulldozer for Asuka's already shattered heart.

She put the tear-stained letter back on the dresser and went to the living room and sat down on the couch. Her hands were holding her head and she looked like she was just out of a bar fight.

She thought of all the things she could've said to him, all the things she could've done for him. But, now it was too late as he has already left.

'If only I wasn't so stubborn, if only I could've shown my feelings instead of hiding them, Shinji would still be here.'

Then she thought about it, Shinji couldn't leave the city at least not yet, he still has to stay goodbye to all his friends. She could visit each of them and maybe meet him while he's saying goodbye to them. She knew he couldn't do it in the middle of the night, so he must found some place to say, it would be in the morning or in the afternoon before he would leave.

Yes, she could do that! And pray to God that she would be reunited with Shinji. She thought that maybe if he wasn't there, her last resort was the train station, and hope that his train hasn't left yet.

She stood up, with this revelation, and proceeded to run into the bedroom, and upon reaching her closet, got her coat out. 

She raced out the door of their apartment, not caring that she was still in her pajamas, with a renewed faith that she would be reunited with the one she loved. 

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Thanks for the reviews keep them coming. 

I'll be ready with the next chapter maybe by next week.

Domo Arigato

  



	3. Reminiscing

Goodbye

By 

One-Winged Angel

Thank Yous:

Animefan 2017- Great encouragement and help is appreciated from you.

Ishagu- Thanks; I look forward to reading your fics.

Dennisud-Thank you for you review, and your suggestion, I was already planning.

D14852001-The explanation is in this chapter.

BGM-109A-I will.

Nigoki-Thanks.

Keyblade-00- Thanks for the encouragement.

Lord of Pencil- Sure.

Dave S-The wrong spellings are when I type too fast, and forget to correct it.

Jennyjennai- I do so too, but there will be a happy ending.

Kman- Thanks for the advice.

Vanimal- I'm glad you liked the story so much.

If there's anyone I left out, sorry I'll make it up to you next time.

This is the part where you'll know why Shinji and Asuka are that way in Chapters 1 and 2.

Animefan2017 has shown me the error of my ways. I changed Shinji's eye color to a blue color in this chapter. 

Sorry, I forgot Shinji's eye color, It's been 2 years since I last watched EVA, and it's only been recently that I found my DVD collection of it.

~*~*~*~*

**Running…**

_Running from…_

_What?_

_All he could see was darkness._

_He was falling…_

_Plunging into the darkness…_

I shot up from the park bench I was sleeping on, my forehead dripping with beads of sweat. 

It had been so long since I had a nightmare before. I hardly ever had one when I was back at home. 

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and looked at my surroundings, the night was dead silent, and if you listened closely you could hear crickets. 

The park was empty, and the wind was silently playing with the leaves rustling it softly through the park, the only illumination that could be seen was from the bright, yellow streetlights that lined up the walls of the park.

I slowly went into a seating position on the bench and slowly began to think about the events that led to my arrival at the park.

~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*

The sounds of footsteps could be heard from the apartment. I slowly descended down the steps to the hard stone ground. He was tempted to run back up the steps and go back inside the apartment, but restrained myself from doing so.

I proceeded to walk down the street; my head was a mess of jumbled thoughts. 'What now? Where do I go?' these were among the line of thinking I was having. The question I wanted answered most was, 'What about Asuka?' I couldn't forget about her. 

I couldn't just forget the sound of her voice, the way her hair swayed when she turned around, the times she would look so beautiful without realizing it. She always mesmerized me with her unique beauty, though it wasn't just her beauty, her headstrong and courageous attitude was what attracted me to her the most. The two qualities I didn't have and always wanted to have.

As I thought about it, my walking led me to the park. I looked at the sign, and realized that maybe this is where I would spend the night, I followed the cobblestone path, and trudged down the steps until I saw a solitary bench. 

I went, sat down on it, and reminisced on what I considered the happiest day of my life.

*~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~*  (Flashback within a flashback, lol)

The church bells could be heard ringing from the distance, but for me, it was as clear as the bright summer's day. 

I stood in front of the minister for my wedding, 'but it isn't a true wedding' I thought.

'But maybe it will become a true wedding.'

All his friends and what I considered as family. Misato, Kensuke, and all his other friends were there. Touji was my best man, and Hikari was Asuka's maiden of honor. 

My friends were shocked, to say the least, of our wedding. They never would have imagined them together, ever. It would have taken a miracle to persuade Asuka to marry, what she called, an idiotic pervert.

However, here she was going down the aisle, towards me. 

I felt so surreal, here she was, the most beautiful person my eyes had ever laid upon, marrying _me_, of all people.

Asuka reached the minister and we both turned to looked at him. I glanced at Asuka's eyes, noticing how devoid of emotion, it was like she hated the very fact that this was happening. I was torn to see that feeling in her eyes, but I just put those doubts away to the back of my mind.

The minister was saying the things that were to be said before the "I do's". It seemed to go on for an eternity, but I felt it go by in a breeze. 

Then it was the moment of truth, the moment that would decide Asuka's, as well as my, fate.

"Do you Shinji Ikari, take this woman Asuka Langley Souryu, as your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'till death do you part?"

"I do." I happily said.

"Do you Asuka Langley Souryu take this man, Shinji Ikari, as your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'till death do you part?"

Silence.

"I do."

The voice that stung with pain, came from Asuka.

"Then, I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

I turned to her, but she was already walking towards the front doors, I ran to follow. She just went into the car without even throwing the bouquet. I went in with her.

When I got in, I asked her "Why didn't we kiss?"

She just shrugged and looked out the window, and said, "Didn't feel like it." 

Her voice was devoid of emotion.

Her face was a casual face.

I knew from then on, that she didn't love me, but I still had hope that in the future it would change.

*~*~*~*End of Flashback*~*~*~*

I sat there with a smile, looking at the stars.

I sighed at that thought; I really believed it would come true.

'But, it didn't come true.' I thought. I held my head between my hands. Tears were flowing down from my eyes now. I just didn't want to remember all those bad things that happened when we were married.

I banished those thoughts and returned to situation at hand, how to make the bench a semi-comfortable place to sleep in. I gathered some old newspapers I saw earlier and arranged them in a neat spread on the bench.

I lied down and swiftly drifted off to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next chapter will still be about Shinji and how he tells everyone he's leaving.

There are about 3 chapters… at least, to my estimation. I'm not sure. This was supposed to be a short story, but it turned out to be pretty long one. Thank you for the advice, everyone. 

Thanks for the reviews.

Thank you to Animefan 2017 for pre-reading for me.

 Thank you very much. 

(Bows).

Domo Arigato.

  



	4. Marry Me

Goodbye  
By  
One-Winged Angel  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The sunlight shone down upon my eyes. I woke up slowly, covering my face with my hand to block the sunlight. I slowly moved my hand back to my side.  
  
I saw that it was a beautiful sunny day. I could hear the birds chirping, and see the green of the trees glistening. I smiled at the sight.  
  
'It's another sunny day.' I thought.  
  
My lips slowly turned into a frown, knowing that Asuka wasn't here. I shook my head to clear those thoughts.  
  
'I'm here to leave her, right?' I asked myself.  
  
I turned slowly to put my feet on the ground. I stretched and yawned as I tried to get the drowsiness out of my system. I slowly managed to sit on the bench. I shook my head once, and proceeded to stand up.  
  
I turned my head up and looked at the sky. It was as blue as it was yesterday. I spent a moment recollecting my thoughts. I needed to decide where I should go from here.  
  
I decided to go visit Kensuke first since he was the nearest, and the most solitary. He decided to isolate himself away from everybody else, staying mostly in his apartment, typing away with his computer.  
  
Touji and me regularly went to visit him every week. He seemed normal enough, aside from the fact that he turned into an isolationist. However, he was still the same old Kensuke that we knew from Junior High.  
  
I walked back up through the cobblestone path of the park. The lights were now off, since it was daylight.  
  
When I arrived at the gate, people were starting to walk down the streets, going to work, to school or to do their own thing. I headed down the street, and walked all the way to Kensuke's house.  
  
I started to think back toward the past again, I remembered the time that I proposed to Asuka. My lips slowly turned into a smile, I couldn't believe that she chose me out of all the people she knew.  
  
*~*~*Flashback (2 and a half years ago)*~*~*  
  
I was standing in front of her door that night. I was going to knock on her door, but somehow my hand never connected with the door. I took a deep breath, gathered some courage, and eventually knocked on her door.  
  
'Even when I've dated her for 5 months I'm always nervous when I'm around her.'  
  
Knock.Knock.Knock  
  
She opened the door, noticing it was me, and asked, "What is it, baka?"  
  
"I. I." I was so nervous I couldn't utter a single word.  
  
'What if she doesn't accept, I'd be heartbroken. But if I never know, that would be an even greater mistake, so here goes.'  
  
"What?"  
  
"Would you go out with me tonight? Just the two of us, down at that restaurant called The Tokyo-3 Moonlight Café, that just opened." I waited a while for her response before asking, "So, will you go with me?"  
  
She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, I've got nothing better to do, I'll just go get dressed."  
  
I was elated by the fact that Asuka accepted, in all the 6 months I've dated her, she gave me only one date a month. So I was happy that she gave me this opportunity to express to her my feelings.  
  
"What's the occasion?"  
  
"Uh." How could I tell her without telling her my true intentions?  
  
"To thank you for everything," I said.  
  
"Right."  
  
She closed the door and I turned to head back into my room. I opened my door and went to my drawer. I picked out my best suit, a dark red, long- sleeved shirt, black slacks, a red tie, and a black jacket.  
  
I went to take a shower and then brushed my teeth and combed my hair. After a few minutes, I was dressed and ready to go. I sat down on the couch and waited for her to come out.  
  
'I'll make sure everything is perfect, I've planned this for a long time now.'  
  
When she stepped into the living room, I saw the epitome of beauty. She was wearing a red spaghetti strapped dress, which hung to her body very well; she had on a pair of sapphire earrings, which accented her eyes very well.  
  
"Wow, I.I don't know what to say."  
  
"Well get your mind out of the gutter, pervert."  
  
I took a deep breath, and asked her, "Shall we go now?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
I took my arm out for her, but once again she didn't take it.  
  
"Let's go," she said.  
  
I sighed.  
  
"Alright."  
  
We went out the door and went down the steps to the parking lot. I had the opportunity to ask Misato two days ago, if I could borrow her car. She had asked my why, but I only replied that it was for Asuka. She said it was OK, and she gave me the keys.  
  
When we reached the parking lot, we slowly got to Misato's car. I opened the door for her to go in.  
  
"Thank You."  
  
This was one of the rare instances when she would thank me. I was happy that she thanked me tonight, the one special night of all nights.  
  
I went to the driver's side, sat down and turned the key to start the engine. I backed the car up the driveway and turned to the path toward the main street.  
  
Upon reaching the main street, I started heading to the Café. The trip was silent and uneventful. The street was silent, and empty, with only the streetlights softly lighting up the path.  
  
When we reached the restaurant, I once again held open the door for her. She didn't thank me this time, but I could see in her eyes that she was thanking me. We slowly headed to the door, this time she did intertwine her arm with mine. I was overjoyed by this fact; in our relationship we didn't have much physical contact.  
  
When we reached the door, the waiter asked us "Do you have a reservation?"  
  
"Ikari, Shinji"  
  
"Ah! Yes this was please."  
  
The waiter led us among the tables to a single table illuminated with candlelight. I took great care of choosing a perfect spot, so I figured that a seat near a window would be perfect.  
  
I held out her chair, and when she sat down, I also sat down.  
  
"What would you like to order, sir?"  
  
"The one I chose, waiter."  
  
"Very good choices I might say, sir. I will be right back with your order"  
  
"What did you order that's so good, Shinji?" Asuka asked.  
  
"It's a surprise," I replied.  
  
"I hope it's good, I'm starving."  
  
"I'm sure you'll like it."  
  
We started to have some idle conversations about the past when there were still Angels. Those times were the worst, and at the same time, the best days of my life. The worst, because it caused great pain and suffering to me and the ones I cared for. The best, because I got to meet Asuka and all my other friends.  
  
When the food arrived she was surprised that I ordered all her favorite German foods.  
  
"I didn't know they served German here."  
  
"I just found out a week ago. Enjoy, Asuka."  
  
My food was just a steak and some side dishes. This meal was the most expensive thing that I've ever had to pay for, but it was worth it to see Asuka happy.  
  
When we finished eating, I said, "Asuka, I need to go to the bathroom."  
  
I stood up and went to the bathroom, but before I went in I signaled the waiter to bring the object that I had asked them to hold for me.  
  
After I did my thing in the bathroom, I proceeded to head back to my table where Asuka was still waiting.  
  
I sat down, and looked her in the eyes. Those blue eyes that would forever hold me prisoner if look at them for too long.  
  
"Asuka, there's something I want to ask you."  
  
"Ask away, Shinji."  
  
"You know in our relationship, I know we haven't gone very far, but you know that I love you."  
  
The waiter arrived with the small velvet box that I asked them to keep. I took the box from the waiter's hand.  
  
"I know we're not the best couple around here, but Asuka even though we have our differences, our fights, and our misunderstandings. I still love you. So please, will you marry me?"  
  
I opened the box to let her see the diamond ring that took all my savings to buy. It was an average of size diamond on a gold ring. I hoped that she would accept it. In my mind, I was pleading to all the gods I know to let her be with me.  
  
I looked at her.  
  
She was surprised. The first time I've ever seen her surprised. Then she slowly said.  
  
"Yes I will."  
  
I almost jumped for joy, but I held my ground, she said yes! I was overjoyed to the fact that she yes. I never thought that she would say that one word that would have made me so happy.  
  
"But, don't think this because I like you, I just don't want to be alone forever."  
  
I was a little discouraged, but I knew that maybe she could learn to love me overtime. The rest of the evening was a blur to me. I just remembered that moment where everything stopped, and it was just the two of us and I was waiting for her answer.  
  
And, on that night, she made me the happiest man in the world.  
  
*~*~*~*End of Flashback*~*~*~*  
  
I snapped out of my reverie to see that I was already in front of Kensuke's apartment. He nowadays lived his life as a hacker, but was a computer technician at a big-time company. I went up the steps of his apartment. The wooden steps creaking as I was walking up the stairs, showing it was very old already.  
  
I stood in front of Kensuke's door and knocked.  
  
Knock. Knock. Knock.  
  
And I waited to see where my destiny would take me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I guess no meetings with Kensuke, and the gang yet. I promise next chapter there will. Thank you once again to all my reviewers.  
  
This chapter is longer than any of my previous chapters, so I hope you like it.  
  
Thank You, once again to Animefan2017 for pre-reading.  
  
(Bows)  
  
Domo Arigato.  
  
Signed,  
  
One-Winged Angel 


	5. Goodbye, my friend part 1

Goodbye  
By  
One-Winged Angel  
  
Thank you dearly to all my reviewers.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion  
  
The door slowly creaked open revealing Kensuke Aida standing right in front of me. He looked just like he did three years ago, except he had gotten a new pair of glasses.  
  
"Hey Shinji, what's up?"  
  
"Kensuke. Can I come in? It's important."  
  
"Uh. Yeah, sure."  
  
Kensuke motioned for me to come in. I walked down the dimly lit hallway to the living room. I proceeded to sit down on an easy chair across the sofa. I looked around. The TV was dusty from not being used. The floor was messy, filled with pizza boxes, papers, and so many other junk that I didn't even know what they were. Kensuke sat down on the couch and offered me a pizza.  
  
"So what brings you here?" He asked as he brought a slice of pizza toward his mouth. I looked at him, 'How could he be eating a rotten pizza? That must've been here for days!'  
  
He sorted of looked at me sheepishly. Maybe he wanted to offer me a pizza. I hope not.  
  
"Hey, you want a pizza?" He asked while his extending his hand that contained the pizza.  
  
'So much for that.'  
  
"Errr. No thanks. I came here to talk to you about something, something very important. Something that can change our lives completely."  
  
"Sounds serious." His voice was muffled by the consumption of his pizza. The chewing sound was really annoying, but I tolerated it.  
  
"It is, I've thought this over for a long time. I've decided to leave Tokyo- 3 and go to another land. Far, far away from here."  
  
Kensuke choked on his food, just like I expected he would. He stared at me wide-eyed, shock filling his mind.  
  
"Wh.what!!! Why?"  
  
"Asuka. I thought that after the wedding she might change, but. sadly I was mistaken." I was starting to get tears in my eyes again. I felt like that the whole world would crumble before me. "She still acts the same way about me. She still beats me up and insults me." At this time, I was already crying, my tears came gushing out like a waterfall. "I don't know why. I've always been kind to her, did whatever she wanted. I did nothing wrong. I tolerated her, even when nobody else could. Not you, not Touji, not anyone else. So why!! Why doesn't she feel the same way?"  
  
Kensuke looked at me in the eyes, heaved a sigh, and said, "Well, man that's what you get for marrying a devil."  
  
After saying that remark, Kensuke found himself being slammed on the wall, courtesy of me. I was really angry with him. Asuka didn't deserve to be insulted, especially when she wasn't here to defend herself. I looked at Kensuke with anger in my eyes. He was starting to get a little scared, so I dropped him. Kensuke looked very relieved after I dropped him.  
  
"Hey, have you gone nuts, why did you do that?"  
  
I looked at him coldly, much like my father, when he was still the commander of NERV.  
  
"Don't insult Asuka."  
  
Kensuke looked as if he wanted to shrivel up and die. "Alright! All right, stop doing that, it's giving me the creeps. Why are you still defending her, even if she tore your heart in two?"  
  
"Simple, because I still love her. I could never stop loving her. She is my sunshine. She lights up my day just by being with me. Despite all her insults and beatings, I still love her."  
  
"Man, you're like a weirdo. Nobody could be that dedicated. Asuka's also a strange case, she can't see what a good person you are, Shinji."  
  
"Thanks for the praise, but I'm not a nutcase. I just feel it in my heart and my soul. It's like a roaring flame that won't be put out; I won't let it be put out, that passion I feel is what drives me to make my decision. Even if she's not with me, as long as she's happy, I'll be happy."  
  
"You've got the dedication of a rock. If it were me I'd never live through marrying Asuka."  
  
"Well, yeah. About me leaving, I think I'll be staying in Okinawa-2 or maybe overseas."  
  
"Think it through man, this is a big step."  
  
"I have thought it through. For a long time now, it's been running through my mind for what it seems an eternity. This is my final decision."  
  
"Well, thanks for at least telling me, man. I would hate to see you go away without so much as a goodbye. When are you leaving anyway?"  
  
"Today."  
  
For the second time today, Kensuke looked shocked again. It looked like his eyeballs were about to pop out from its sockets.  
  
"WHAT! Today? But it's so sudden!"  
  
"I've decided. After visiting Touji and Hikari, I'll be leaving."  
  
"Alright, but I still think you should stay."  
  
"I can't. It hurts too much, knowing she'll be here with me. Not loving me. I need to leave."  
  
"I'm sorry for you, I really am."  
  
I glanced at the clock; it's just about time that I left for Touji and Hikari's house.  
  
"Hey, I need to leave or I'll be late. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me."  
  
"Sure, no problem."  
  
I stood up and slowly walked out the door. Before I walked out however, I turned around and said, "Kensuke, you really need to get a better life than hacking. Get around, go to the park. Something, anything."  
  
Kensuke looked around his house, then stood up and looked out the window.  
  
"Maybe I will, maybe."  
  
"Don't just stand there, go out, live!"  
  
Kensuke looked at me and smiled. He walked up next to me and extended his hand towards me. I knew what that meant, it would be a long time before I would get to see him again, I walked up next to him, and shook his hand.  
  
"I'll miss you, Kensuke."  
  
"I'll miss you too, Shinji."  
  
We broke to a hug. A simple one between friends, it meant goodbye for the both of us. I said goodbye once more to my old fried and walked out his door. I looked up at the sky and walked down those familiar steps that I was walking up not too long ago. I stepped onto the street and went to go to the final destination to my journey.  
  
'It's almost time.Asuka.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I'm sorry for the length of this chapter and all my other chapters, but this was intended to be a short story.  
  
The next story I'll write will be much better than this one.  
  
Thank you for putting up with me, my loyal reviewers.  
  
Thank You Animefan 2017 for pre-reading, again.  
  
(Bows)  
  
Domo Arigato.  
  
One-Winged Angel 


	6. My feelings for you

Goodbye  
By  
One-Winged Angel  
  
Thanks to all my reviewers.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was hot. I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked up from the park bench that I was sitting on. It had been hours since Shinji had left. I've been looking for him for hours and I still haven't found him.  
  
Damn, it was taking me longer than I thought to find him. At least he wasn't out of Tokyo-3 yet. I checked with the train station twenty minutes ago. When I showed them a picture of Shinji, they had said that no one resembling that man had left the station.  
  
I looked up and I saw how the sun was happily shining down on the park. 'How ironic' I thought. This was the day that I realized my true feelings for Shinji and it had to be the day he had to run away again.  
  
If only all those times I wasn't so mean to him, if I could have only let go of the pain my heart was feeling, tell him those feelings that I hold deep inside, he would still be here. I wish I didn't have to keep it all locked up inside my heart. I wish I could've told him what I felt, to hold me in his arms, to comfort me.  
  
But I didn't. I only caused more pain. I was foolish. I was the stupid one, not Shinji. After all the times I called him an idiot, I realized that I was the idiot, for not opening my heart. Shinji was special; he took in all the mean things I said to him, and all the punches I threw at him with calmness.  
  
He never once fought with me. If there ever was, I was the one who started it. I knew I had loved Shinji right from the start of our marriage. It was just that I was still afraid; afraid of losing someone you love. So I pushed them away.  
  
Tears were flowing from my eyes. I touched them and I was surprised that I was crying. 'I'm Crying again, and it's all because of baka-Shinji.' No, it wasn't Shinji who was the baka it was I. For never once telling him that I loved him. For never once kissing him, holding him. All the regret just started to envelop me.  
  
"Hey miss, why are you crying?"  
  
I looked up to see a little boy standing over me. He was looking at me strangely. He was so full of innocence and joy that I started to bury my head between my hands and cry again. I always wondered what it would be like to have children, but I never had the chance because I was afraid. Afraid of not being a good mother, and most especially of all afraid of being alone, fear of rejection, and fear of someone I love leaving me.  
  
'But wasn't that what was happening right now? No, because it was my fault for causing Shinji to run away. If I wasn't such a bitch to him, he wouldn't have left.'  
  
I looked up again and saw the little boy still staring at me with that soft twinkle in his eye. The love for life that just wouldn't go away. That was what kids had, an unlimited amount of passion and energy.  
  
"I was just thinking about someone. Someone I care for."  
  
"My mommy said that if you should always protect the ones you care for."  
  
"That's right, little boy. Listen to what your mother says," I said as I rubbed the top of his head. I started to feel better, thanks to the words of that child.  
  
"I'd better get going now, little boy."  
  
"Goodbye, miss."  
  
I started with a new determination on finding Shinji again. I had to search for him everywhere, even if it means searching the whole of Tokyo-3.  
  
I searched all of his usual hangouts: his office, the restaurant he usually goes to eat, and the bar we always frequent upon, but still no sign of him. Maybe he went to Kensuke's house, because I already checked with Hikari on my cell phone, and he wasn't over there.  
  
I ran straight to Kensuke's house, though we haven't patched things up, like me and Touji had, I still knew where he lived. I weaved my way through the heavy traffic of the streets. Evading the hustle and bustle of people going to lunch or going to business meetings.  
  
When I got to Kensuke's house, I was dead tired. I was breathing heavily while clutching the railing of the steps up to his apartment.  
  
I proceeded to walk up the stairs, since I was still tired from running halfway across town. When I reached the top of the steps, I took a deep breath. Kensuke and me weren't on such good terms when we last saw each other. Kensuke still hated me because I treated Shinji like crap. I don't know whether to beat Kensuke up for insulting me or thank him for defending Shinji.  
  
It was not like that with Touji. I guess being married to Hikari will have some of her characteristics rub off on you. He was a much more understanding person when I last saw him. He didn't call me 'demon' anymore, and called me his friend.  
  
The same was not true for Kensuke. He still despised me and hated me for taking away Shinji from their group 'The Three Stooges.' He hated me even more because he said that I wasn't treating Shinji right. And he was correct that I wasn't treating Shinji right. I told him that I would treat Shinji the way I wanted to treat him, and to butt out of my business.  
  
I stood there and pondered for a while. Kensuke was right. I have been treating him like dirt, but I will remedy all that soon enough. I won't mistreat him anymore. I'd do anything to get him back, anything.  
  
I knocked on the door. There was a ruffled sound inside, probably from Kensuke tripping after getting up from the computer.  
  
"I'll be right there."  
  
Footsteps could be heard from the other side of the door. They seemed to get louder and louder, which meant he was getting closer and closer.  
  
The door opened and Kensuke was standing in the doorway, his head was turned to an object inside the apartment, probably the T.V. He was a big Sci-Fi nut he must be watching some Sci-Fi show re-run, because there were no more Sci-Fi shows on T.V. Well, there was but only very little channels had Sci-Fi programs.  
  
"Hey is that you Shin.?" His head cocked around to look at me.  
  
"Oh, it's you," He said vehemently.  
  
"Was Shinji here?" I asked him.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?"  
  
"Please, was Shinji here?" I had a slight pleading tone in my voice.  
  
"Oh, so now you want him, what about all the other times, huh? You're a demon, you've done nothing, but cause misery for Shinji."  
  
"Please, I need to know." I was starting to break. My tears were on the verge of falling down. I was already slumping down, ready to collapse.  
  
"Crying won't do you any good."  
  
My tears were already falling, and I have already fallen to the ground. I don't know how many times I'd cried that day, but this was the day I've cried the most in my entire life.  
  
"I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry for the way I've treated Shinji in the past. I'm sorry for how I treated you all. I know I must've hurt Shinji, but now I want another chance, a chance at redeeming myself. Please Kensuke let me have another chance."  
  
Kensuke looked stunned for a split second, but he hid it and continued to glare at me.  
  
"You want a chance at getting Shinji back? Is it genuine?"  
  
"Yes, yes it is."  
  
"Then, prove it."  
  
"Alright! I love him all right, is that what you wanted to hear?! I've realized I love him with all my heart, and I would do anything to get him back!" I shouted.  
  
He smiled at me.  
  
"So, you finally realized your feelings for Shinji."  
  
"You knew?"  
  
"Of course, you were the only one who couldn't see it, aside from Shinji."  
  
"Then why did you hate me all those years?"  
  
"Because you never accepted those feelings, you bottled them up and buried them deep within your heart. I hate people who are like that, but now you've realized your feelings and accepted them. So now I don't quite as despise you as before."  
  
"Thank you, Kensuke."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"So, was he here?"  
  
"Yeah, but he left about half an hour ago."  
  
"Where did he go?"  
  
"He said he was going to Hikari and Touji's place."  
  
'I just missed him. When I called Hikari, he must've not been there yet.'  
  
"Thank you again, Kensuke."  
  
"Like I said, no problem"  
  
It was a good thing that Hikari's house wasn't far from Kensuke's house. I could reach it within five minutes if I ran. I needed to find Shinji before he left the city and was lost forever from me.  
  
I ran down the steps of Kensuke's apartment and sprinted to Hikari's house. I had a new fire, a raging fire that fueled my desire to be reunited with Shinji.  
  
"Good luck, Asuka," Kensuke said as I faded from view.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
This is a pretty long chapter. I hope you like it.  
  
Thanks, once again, to all my reviewers.  
  
Once again I'd like to especially thank Animefan 2017 for pre-reading.  
  
(Bows)  
  
Domo Arigato,  
  
One-Winged Angel 


	7. Goodbye, my friend part 2

Goodbye  
By  
One-Winged Angel  
  
Touji placed the tea on the table; he went and sat down on the couch, next to Hikari. I sat opposite of him in a green chair Touji probably used for relaxation on weekends. He looked at me intently waiting for an explanation on what my purpose of being in their house was. It had been 10 minutes since I arrived at Touji's house; this was my last stop before the train station.  
  
'I hope the train isn't late'  
  
"So, what are you doing here, Shinji? Asuka kicked you out again?" Touji said with a big laugh. The laugh subsided as he looked at me, "What happened man, you look pretty serious. It's not like those other times, right?"  
  
"Yeah, Shinji. What happened between you and Asuka?" Hikari suddenly asked.  
  
" I decided to leave Asuka."  
  
"What? But you guys get along great, just like how you always do! You just can't turn your back on her like that. She really cares for you, and I know now that she's not so bad after all."  
  
"No, you don't understand, I'm leaving because I love her, but I know she doesn't love me. I can tell by the things she says, the things she does, it's like I'm a tool for her. She doesn't see me as I see her. I don't even think that she cares for me at all. I want her to have the kind of life where she'll be happy, seeing her happy gives me great joy already, even if she is in someone else's arms."  
  
"You're wrong Shinji, she does care for you a lot, she just doesn't know how to express it well, she suffered from intense psychological trauma, you know. She has been my best friend for a long time now, I should know a great deal about her. I know, deep in her heart, she cares for you a lot. She may even love you"  
  
I sighed, and I stood up walked around the couch, to look at a painting. The painting was abstract, like a mosaic. It was painted with lots of colors and different splashes of paint. It looked like a dog made it. Nonetheless, it was still considered a piece of art. It was strange, how something, like blotches of paint bunched up together, could be considered something very expensive. But, somehow, he could see why the painting was so valuable.  
  
I was still looking at the painting when I spoke.  
  
"It's like this painting, it's something that cannot be understood. It's meaning cannot be deciphered, except by those who devote their lives to studying art forms like this. Asuka is the painting and I'm the one studying her. I've known her for a long time, and yet she is still quite a mystery to me. She is beyond comprehension. She's like the lone tree that stands out in front of the others, somebody different from all the others."  
  
I turned to face them.  
  
"She can be so moody; at times she can be frustrating as hell, in other instances she can be as nice as Santa Claus. She can be a real enigma, a puzzle that I'm still trying to solve. Maybe that's why I love her, because she's special. She's not like those other girls who are always acting weak, but actually just trying to snag men, she's not afraid to express her emotions, she lets them pour out like a gushing river. She's not afraid to express herself, in anyway possible."  
  
"That was a good speech, Shinji, all the more reason you should stay with Asuka. I've seen you have a happier attitude, since you've married Asuka. She lights up your life, and you know it."  
  
I looked at Touji; this was surprising, especially coming from Touji. He really has changed from being a jock to a considerate young man, who knows how to understand other people's feelings. This was far from the Touji I knew four years ago, he would've just scratched his head and say "Huh?"  
  
I smiled at him. I proceeded to sit down once again at the same old leather couch that I sat on before.  
  
"You really have changed haven't you, Touji? I guess having Hikari as wife, made you a little more emphatic to people's feelings."  
  
Touji blushed a little at that remark.  
  
"Well, sometimes people change, and hearing what you've said, it looks like I've changed for the better."  
  
"You have, and it's a good thing too, I'm glad you regard Asuka as a friend now."  
  
"Well, after you get to know her for a while, she's not all that bad after all. Anyway, have you changed your mind about your decision?"  
  
"No, I haven't. I believe this will better for both of us. I would rather let her be happy with someone else, than be sad with me. She's deserves someone else who's better than me, someone who could give her everything she wants."  
  
"You don't understand, she does love you, you're the greatest thing that happened to her in her entire life. Even though she still does those things she did before, she does them with less frequency and not that fierce anymore."  
  
Hikari's words rang some truths, but I was still convinced that what I was doing was for the good of both of us.  
  
"I just want what's best for Asuka. I know this is what's right."  
  
"You sure you want this, Shinji? If it is we won't stop you, you know that."  
  
"I want this, I want to go. I now this will be all for the better."  
  
I stood again and faced the door and reached for the knob. I started to twist the knob, when Hikari suddenly stood and glared vehemently at me. She then slapped me, it really hurt, but at first I was shocked, shocked at why she did that. I looked at her and brought my hand to where her hand had slapped me before.  
  
I felt the bruise, it was swelling a little, and I assumed it looked like a little purple spot. It was then I felt the pain, not that much painful, but it stung.  
  
"She doesn't want this! She's just doesn't want to be lonely anymore, but she's scared. She's scared of rejection, but you have to show her that that's wrong. She doesn't need to hurt anymore; she doesn't have to be lonely anymore. I know she loves you in her heart, she just finds it very hard to express it. I'm not a mind reader but I sure do know that she loves you a whole lot. You need to stop thinking with your brain, and start thinking with your heart. It's important to think with your heart as well, do not let hasty judgements be the reason why you lost the one you love!"  
  
Hikari said those words with such ferocity that a lion catching it's prey pales in comparison with the intensity that Hikari exhibited.  
  
"Maybe that's what will happen, maybe that's my fate, I don't know." I turned and looked at them.  
  
"That's why I'm doing this, to find the answers I seek. To find what's my fate. Maybe I'm destined to be with Asuka, maybe I'm supposed to live my life in constant destitution. I want to see it for my own eyes."  
  
I knew that my cryptic explanation made them even more confused, but all those words were true, that was the real reason why I ran away in the first place. To see if she really cares about me, to see if she really loves me.  
  
"Look man, I'm confused. I thought you were going out of Tokyo-3."  
  
"That's right, I am."  
  
"Then how are you going to find out if you belong with Asuka?"  
  
"I can't tell you it's between just Asuka and me. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. This is the right path to take."  
  
"I really do hope you know what you're doing. Asuka will be devastated if you left."  
  
I smiled at Hikari; her loyalty to her friends was one trait that I always admired about Hikari. No matter how bad that person was. She knew that they had to have a good side. She's one of the only few people who can tolerate Asuka. Other people don't act like Hikari, they just judge Asuka by her attitude, but they don't know the woman beneath the mask that she always uses to hide from the outside world. The one she uses to push away everybody else, because of fear, fear of rejection.  
  
"I know, and I hope too that it won't come to that."  
  
I looked at my watch; it read eleven thirty.  
  
"I need to go right now."  
  
"And if everything turns out right, maybe today won't be the last day I get to see you."  
  
I opened the door and walked through it and turned to them again.  
  
"Sayonara."  
  
I walked down the front lawn of Touji and Hikari's house. It looked really beautiful, a two-story house. The roof was painted a light green and the walls were coated with white paint. It looked like a typical house, but I knew that the two people inside weren't just ordinary people. They were two individuals who had to overcome many obstacles to get to where they are right now.  
  
I walked down the to the street, and went to the train station. It was a short trip, since the train station was just a few blocks away. Touji said that it would be convenient to have a house near the train station.  
  
I looked up at the flashing neon sign, and then glanced at my watch once again. It was eleven forty-five. The train was leaving at twelve-fifteen. I hope she would come in those 30 precious minutes that would decide his fate.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I'm sorry that I'm very late with this chapter; I had a ton of schoolwork, and a lot of other stuff that came up.  
  
Anyway this fic is almost ending, and I hope that the ending won't disappoint you.  
  
I think it's just two more chapters, and then it's the end. Maybe I'll write an epilogue, I'm not sure yet.  
  
Thank you to all my reviewers.  
  
Domo Arigato,  
  
(Bows)  
  
One-Winged Angel 


	8. I Love You, Always

Goodbye  
By One-Winged Angel  
  
I was late in updating my story, but I promise it will be quicker.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was getting very late; my train would be leaving soon. The station was placid and not a soul could be seen, when the normally, the station should be filled with the hustle and bustle of people going to and fro, but not today. Today, there was something different. Maybe fate deemed it to be so, on this fine morning. Maybe she would come looking for me or maybe my hopeless dream would be shattered into a million pieces.  
  
I was sitting near the vending machines, the red and blue color of the vending machines reminded me of her hair and eyes, so full of passion for life. 'Asuka, where are you right now?' The train was running late, but still she was nowhere to be found. I was beginning to lose hope that she would come. 'Maybe she did give up on me, maybe she didn't care for me after all.' I shook my head; continuing that train of thought really wasn't going to help me. So I waited, looking at the tall buildings of the city.  
  
I looked at my watch '1:00 o'clock' the train was running really late, for some reason maybe fate didn't want me to leave. I look up the flashing sign; it read that the train was to be delayed for another hour. I sighed; it looks like I won't be leaving anytime soon.  
  
I walked back to the city, trudging down the stone-gray road. Strange, that there were no cars, no people, not a trace that would indicate that there was life. It looked like the entire road was dead, but still I managed to trot back down into the city. Upon reaching downtown, that was when I finally saw some people. They were looking at me, waving. Knowing me from the time of when there were still angels. I smiled back at them, but there was only one person that I was thinking of, Asuka. Where could she be? My head was clouded in riddles that I wanted answers to, answers that I could not find.  
  
I saw a quaint little bistro down the road, one that I've never gone into. I've never gone into a coffee shop, seeing as there was no need for me to drink coffee. I thought I'd tried something new, just to past the time. So I went inside that small little café, and saw that it was neatly decorated. The counters were filled with little pastries that looked very appetizing to my palate. The walls were filled with various decorations; from well-hung lamps that were arranged impeccably well to paintings that looked appeasing to the eye.  
  
I decided to do something that I've never done before, drink coffee. Usually I drank tea or juice, never coffee. I found it too strong after drinking a mug of it back when I was young, but maybe I should try it again. Things had changed from now and then, I could certainly attest to that. I went to the cashier and noticed that she was overly friendly and had asked me what I wanted. I decided to try a 'cappuccino'. While I was not a connoisseur in food, I had a feeling it would taste good. I also ordered a chocolate cake, so the coffee would have something to accompany it.  
  
It looked like a nice sunny day, so I had my coffee and cake outside. I sat down, took a fork and began eating.  
  
I begin to remember those old times, when Asuka cooked for me and we sat down, ate, and talked. Those were times that I would cherish with all my heart. I began sipping my coffee. It had a very delicious taste, it was like a warm, sweet taste that enveloped my tongue and gave me a sense of pleasure at tasting the flavor of it. I never knew why I didn't try it before. It tastes so exquisite. When I'm settled down again, maybe I'll try it again. Those feelings made me remember Asuka again. How, when she was kind and sweet to me, evoked a lot of emotions that were like this cappuccino. She was sweet and enveloped me in her constant optimistic attitude.  
  
I looked at my watch again it read 1:30, 'Hmm. I should be heading back. The train should be arriving soon, and Asuka too, I hope.' I once again walked back to the train station. As I proceeded with my trek, I noticed the sky getting darker and the clouds getting heavier. 'Rain. that's weird there was no mention of rain in today's newspaper.' I took the liberty of reading the newspaper early this morning, when I happened to pass by a newsstand.  
  
And then my prediction came true; it was raining like cats and dogs in no time at all. I ran all the way back to the train station. I was already a little wet from the rain, but by the time I arrived at the station, I was more like a drowned rat. My clothes were wet, my hair was wet; practically everything of me was wet! I stood at the part of the station where there was a roof. The intensity of the rain was getting worse by the minute, it seems like Asuka wasn't going to be here after all.  
  
I looked at the train tracks and pondered where they would take me, maybe to some far away land so that I could forget. No, I could never forget about her, her looks, her smell, how she felt when I touched her. They were all imbedded in my mind and, most of all, my heart. She would always be a part of me and that would never change. No matter where I went, I would always love her.  
  
I turned back to sit down, and I got the biggest shock of my life. There was Asuka, standing in the rain, looking at me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I went to Hikari's place all right, but much to my disappointment he was already gone, but at least she told me that he went to the train station. I hope I'm not too late, not after all the trouble I had to go to find him.  
  
I hurriedly ran to the station. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was already 1'clock; maybe the train would be delayed. I mean, hoping for a miracle isn't that tough, right?  
  
I remember Hikari telling me a long time ago that 'you only realize how precious someone is once you lose them.' I think she was right, I mean I've been mistreating Shinji for a long time now. Now when he's finally gone, I realize that I do love him. I know that I mustn't lose him, or else remnants of my already fragile heart would break into pieces, like tiny shards of glass, so broken that it cannot be repaired.  
  
As I continue to run, I remember all the horrid things that I did to him, all the pain and anguish that I've caused him throughout the years. I regret them all, I silently wept as I ran. How could I be so indifferent to all the torment I've caused him? Why was I so blind not to see the bruises, the pained look in his eyes?  
  
Now I see all the wrong that I've done too him. I wish to atone for my past misdeeds more than ever. I wish to see the sweet smiling face of Shinji instead of the one filled with pain. If I get to see him again, I promise not to hurt him anymore, but instead I'll bring joy to his life.  
  
I see the station over the horizon; I finally notice that it's raining, and very hard too. Because of my soul-searching I didn't notice. Well, I'm now wet as a fish. I hope Shinji knows what I'm going through to find him.  
  
I finally reach the station, and to my dismay. Shinji was nowhere to be found. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, feeling it was very wet. I had hoped that Shinji would be here waiting for the train, but I see fate has a funny way of working again. It seems to be always against me.  
  
I sat down on one of the orange benches, and watched as the heavily pouring rain continued to drench the earth. The trees were swaying, and the earth was muddy. It looked very gloomy, much like my mood. The downpour was getting even stronger, if that was even possible. The beating of the rain on then rooftop was deafening.  
  
I stood up and went to the edge of the station. I could see all my life flashing before my eyes, seeing all the high points and all the low points of my life. My shoulders started to sag; it felt so hopeless, so disdainful. It felt as if the whole world was against me. When I finally learned what I was doing wrong and start to fix it, something happens. Maybe fate was cursing me to a life of unhappiness, always having it in your grasp, and like sand it swiftly disappears.  
  
I saw the black clouds, it's as if they were getting heavier and closer to me. I tried to reach out and grab it, but I guess it's actually too far away for me to really reach. I looked onwards towards the horizon, nothing but black clouds, rain, and lots of trees. I could think of nothing but how Shinji was doing right now. If I wasn't so horrible towards him, he might have never left.  
  
"Shinji." His name Escaped my lips, it was a like a whisper, but for me it was louder than a gun going off. I thought it would be the last time I'd ever get to say his name. I wasn't going to see him again.  
  
The tears fell, silent raindrops from my eyes, threatening to overwhelm me with the irony of it all. I always told him to leave me and when he does I feel so horrible without him. Goes to show you that you only realize someone's important when you lose him.  
  
I held my head down, my bangs were covering my face, I turned around and walked back towards the bench I was previously sitting on. I raised my head once again and I saw him, saw Shinji.  
  
~*~*~3rd Person POV ~*~*~  
  
Asuka saw him, frozen stiff like a statue, unmoving. She reached out to grab him, any part of him. To see if this wasn't just an illusion, but Shinji turned around and ran towards the open where it was raining, hard.  
  
"Wait" Shouted Asuka as she ran after him even as she was already drenched from running towards the open. She put her hands to her knees and huffed a little, she then faced Shinji with a determined look.  
  
"I'm sorry, Shinji" she sincerely said. She regretted every moment that she harmed him.  
  
"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Shinji curtly replied. He expressed no emotion in his voice.  
  
The rain splattered all around them, they were both disheveled and had hair matted to their face.  
  
"Please Shinji, I want you back!" Asuka exclaimed. She didn't like where this was going.  
  
"Why, I thought you didn't care? You always did I say I was weak and had no backbone. You have always said in the past that you would rather have me leave than stay with you anymore." Shinji said.  
  
"I was wrong, can't you see that? I love you! I love you more than anything else in the world. I love you with every bone in my body; I love you with all my being. I've never been so sure of something in my entire life.  
  
I can see the pain living in your eyes And I know how hard you try You deserve to have so much more  
  
"I love you too. Asuka, more than anything in this world. That's why I'm going. You deserve someone better, someone who is wealthier or more handsome. Someone who can give you what you need."  
  
"I don't want him I want you! Not anybody else, you! Can't you see that? There's no one else I'd spend my whole life with except you! I love you." Asuka shouted with conviction.  
  
"No, I know the truth I can see it in your eyes, you don't love me. You may care for me, but you don't love me, not like I love you."  
  
"No you've got it wrong, I do love you with all my heart!" Asuka was frantic; she didn't know it would come to this.  
  
I can feel your heart and I sympathize And I'll never criticize All you've ever meant to my life  
  
"Maybe, I don't know. At least you know how it feels now, to be in love. It is such a wonderful feeling, at least until it's gone." Shinji said.  
  
The rain was getting even heavier now. Shinji couldn't see if Asuka had tears on her eyes or if it was just the rain. But he knew one thing Asuka was better of without him.  
  
"What about all we've ever gone through? All the times we shared? Were those meaningless? Because even then those things were precious to me even if I didn't show it." Asuka shouted.  
  
"I never said that I'd forget those memories. I'll never forget the times we've went through from the Angel wars up to now. Those are things that I cherish with all my heart."  
  
Asuka felt a little ray of hope surging in her being.  
  
"But I still believe that it would be better for the both of us, if I should leave."  
  
She felt that ray of light that she felt being covered by the blackest cloud.  
  
I don't want to let you down I don't want to lead you on I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong.  
  
"Please! Don't leave me, not like mama or the others. I've brought down all my barriers just to be close to you."  
  
"I thank you for that, but I have made up my mind." Shinji calmly stated.  
  
You, would never ask me why My heart is so disguised I just can't live a lie anymore I would rather hurt myself Than to ever make you cry There's nothing left to say but Goodbye.  
  
"But you deserve someone's that better than me. Someone stronger than me, to help protect you, to help you in your times of trouble, that someone is not me" Shinji said.  
  
'Why can't he understand? I need him more than anything. I love him. Why? Why??' Asuka thought. Her thoughts were along this line of thinking. Shinji soon thought that she would not protest anymore and turned to left.  
  
You deserve the chance at the kind of love I'm not sure I'm worthy of Losing you is painful to me.  
  
The train finally arrived. The doors opened, like a stairway to heaven for some, and a trip to hell for some others.  
  
Shinji calmly walked towards the train doors, but inside he was crying; crying because he was losing the one that he loved the most.  
  
Asuka suddenly realized that Shinji was near the doors already, and ran towards him, wrapping her hands around him from behind in a tight hold.  
  
I don't want to let you down I don't want to lead you on I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong.  
  
"Please don't go, please don't leave me alone again."  
  
You, would never ask me why My heart is so disguised I just can't live a lie anymore I would rather hurt myself Than to ever make you cry There's nothing left to say but Goodbye.  
  
Shinji turned around and looked into Asuka's eyes, he looked for some indication that she did love her. Just for a small trace of love in her eyes.  
  
You, would never ask me why My heart is so disguised I just can't live a lie anymore I would rather hurt myself Than to ever make you cry There's nothing left to try Though it's gonna hurt us both There's no other way than to say Goodbye.  
  
The he found him that sparkle that he would get in his eyes when he looked at her. The very same sparkle that said I love you without any words, and then he knew that Asuka really did love her.  
  
"I love you too Asuka." The train doors with a swoosh closed and train once again proceeded to go it's way, without Shinji in it.  
  
He then cupped her chin and made her look into his eyes.  
  
"I love you."  
  
And then kissed her.  
  
It didn't matter if was raining.  
  
It didn't matter if they were cold and damp.  
  
All there was was themselves and the love they shared, and to them, it was all that mattered.  
  
".I love you, always."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Here it is, the culmination of all my months of research of other fics. After many months of thinking I've finally have the ending. The story may contain an epilogue, maybe.  
  
Thank you, to all my reviewers. You were there with me, every step of the way, through thick or thin.  
  
Please if there are any complaints attribute it to me being a first-author. I really hope many people will read and enjoy this fic. I don't care how many reviews I get, as I long as when people read this, they enjoy themselves and express lots of emotions. Love, anger, hate, sadness, regret, these are emotions that I want my readers to feel.  
  
"Love will be with you every step of the way in life."  
  
-SME  
  
Domo Arigato,  
  
One-Winged Angel  
  
P.S. Its still One-Winged Angel, the 6 is there because of ff.net's rules. 


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